Through the Woods: Sign Me Up

Back in the beginning, when the "C" word became a part of our life there was a time that I was pretty angry about the whole thing. I remember saying to Jay one day, "I really don't think we signed up for this". I was expecting a few sympathetic words and maybe some commiserating conversation.

I got something better....a wake up call.

Jay explained, "Actually we did sign up for this, and not only did we sign up....we jumped for joy when given an opportunity to experience everything that this mortal life brings". It took me some time to understand the full meaning of his words and how profound they really were.

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we believe that we existed before this life. In this First Estate we were part of a war in heaven where two plans were presented, one by Satan the other by our Savior. There were many that chose to follow Satan but most chose to follow the Savior's plan and were permitted to progress by being born to this earth.

The very fact that we are here is evidence that we kept our First Estate and chose to follow Jesus Christ. That decision made by each of us is the hinge that opened the door to our Second Estate here on earth.

We must have been instructed in the dangers, pain and heartache that would accompany mortality. I'm certain that we were fully aware of the evil and adversity that we would face, and that in some cases truly horrible experiences would be part of this existence.

D&C 138:56

Even before they were born, they, with many others, received their first lessons in the world of spirits and were prepared to come forth in the due time of the Lord to labor in his vineyard for the salvation of the souls of men.

And yet we were thrilled with the opportunity to continue to progress by testing ourselves here on earth to prove that we would remain faithful.

Job 38:4-7

Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding. Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it? Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

We also knew that there would be spectacular beauty and music and laughter....and precious new-born babies.

Our Father in Heaven knew that earth life would be difficult and we would sometimes slip and fall. Sometimes the burdens of earth life would be too much to carry and sometimes our sorrows too deep to bear. So He sent a Savior to help us up and carry the heavy load and pay for our mortal mistakes. Understanding and accepting the power of that atonement in our lives is the hinge that will open the door to eternal life.

Abraham 3:26
And they who keep their first estate shall be added upon; and they who keep not their first estate shall not have glory in the same kingdom with those who keep their first estate; and they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.

So yes we did sign up for this, and probably a lot more that we just don't know about yet.

Jay seemed to have an innate understanding of this almost immediately when a diagnosis of cancer was handed to him. He never asked why me, but why not me? "This experience was given to me, and our family, for us to learn and progress."

Jay has been completely accepting of our Father in Heaven's plan for him and understands that He is the one in charge. Jay may recover from this illness or it may overtake his earthly body. But either way it won't change Jay's understanding and love for his Savior and the beautiful plan that He created for us.

Learning to see our current challenge through Jay's perspective has made all the difference for me! I can't thank my husband enough for helping me to understand and remember that indeed I signed up for all of this.